Flip Flop

I'm flip flopping a bit these days.

Here I am busting my butt, up late every night under stacks of grading and prep, for a job I don't have anymore. It's... deflating is the best way to describe it. For the next 2 weeks I do have a job. A job I adore. I really do. But I have to say it's getting difficult to stay motivated. It's difficult to put so much time and effort into something being taken away. I don't know. Maybe it's just "spring fever." The weather is gorgeous and, just like the students, I'd rather be playing outside somewhere.

On the other hand, as my teaching days come to a close, I am trying to relish each and every class that I have left. I want to engage with the students, enjoy the material, and really just 'be there' for these last few classes. I've noticed that I've set aside some of my more usual classroom ways and let free conversation fly. I have always let students say what they want to say but now I find that I really want to let them just be free for awhile. I am enjoying interacting with them on an even more personal level than I normally do.

Then... I look at the stack of admin paperwork and exams on my desk. And sigh.