Flummoxed. Also befuddled, disoriented and discombobulated. Just as I am getting into the groove here in my role as Joan, I got an email offering me classes. My heart sank into my stomach and I felt sick. Not just classes, but classes from the school that made me want to teach. The school I always wanted to teach at.
The brakes screeched on my day as I sat and pondered what to do. I would love the teaching job. But, I made one of the most difficult decisions I've ever made and turned it down. For several reasons:
1- I committed to this new job and I want to live up to that committment.
2- I knew that even if I took those classes I would be in the same cash-flow hole in just a few weeks and scrambling for more part-time jobs.
3- Taking on classes for the love of teaching has put me in a very deep financial hole.
4- Keeping my new job will allow me to get out of that hole.
So yes. I made the very adult decision to stay. But I am still confused, confounded and even vexed. Did I make the right decision? Did I do the right thing? Only time will tell.